Robin Electrum: Cats, Bats, and Birds
by Artemis Goldborough
Summary: The sixteen year old Dick Grayson has girl problems. To put it another way, Flamebird likes Robin, Robin likes Batgirl, and Catwoman loves cat statues. This is one little adventure that Dick wishes had never happened! A one-shot stand-alone, set in my personal version of the DCU which I call the Electrum Universe.


**Disclaimer: I do no own these characters. DC Comics does. This is just a fun writing exercise.**

**Author's Notes: This story is the second thing I've written for my Electrum Universe. It can and does completely stand on its own. I have an entire mental outline of this universe set up. My first effort into writing some of it out the first chapter of _Batman Electrum: Memoirs of the Bat,_ seems to be disastrous. I'm not sure I'll continue it. **

**Any differences from the DCU is entirely intentional. The Catwoman of Electrum is as good a fighter as she is a thief. The original Batwoman Kathy Kane and her sidekick the Betty Kane Batgirl are in a modernized, some what reinvented form, a part of this universe. The one mention of Impluse is not an accident; in the Electrum timeline Bart Allen is Barry Allen and Iris West's test tube grown son made by a crazed scientist from the thirtieth century. Impluse at this point in time is chronologically two and physically seven. Impluse won't show up in this story but I do have a story planned involving him, the Dick Grayson Robin and a eight year old untrained Tim Drake. The Joanie Ouick reference is an oc, a member of the Teen Titans West, the ilegamte daughter of Joanie Swift and Johny Quick.**

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**Robin Electrum: Cats, Bats, and Birds:**

Dick Grayson was dressed in his Robin costume. The red and green outfit with short pants and a yellow cape was sometimes made fun of but the sixteen year old didn't care. He loved being Robin.

It was late at night, almost midnight. Robin stood on a roof top of an eight story apartment building. There were taller buildings all around. A good number of the buildings of Gotham City were built close together. The city was gloomy even during the day. At night it was sometimes downright spooky.

Robin stood on the edge of the roof with a grappling gun in hand. He was about to pull the trigger when he heard a soft thud. He turned around cautiously, eyes watching, alert to see what was coming. When he saw her visibly relaxed then scowled. "Oh, it's you," he said.

The fifteen year old girl in the red and yellow costume laughed. She had long blond hair. The mask she wore around her eyes barely disguised her face. She put her hands on her hips. "Is that all you have to say? That's not anyway to treat an old flame!"

"Old is the right word," Robin muttered. The girl was Flamebird. Two years ago she called herself Batgirl. Back then Robin had a crush on her on her. It was puppy love only. They had several adventures together, many which were like something out of a science fiction movie including one in the bottled city of Kandor. It was in Kandor that she picked her current codename. All that time together had taught Robin that the feelings were just a crush.

"Oh come Dick," she said, "Aren't you the slightest bit happy to see me? It's been several months since I was in Gotham."

"Robin," he said correcting her, "As long I'm in costume it's Robin. Or would you like me to start calling you Miss Kane?"

"Ugh." Flamebird made a face. "That makes me feel old. It's bad enough when people like Alf-"

"Eh-hmm!" Robin said interrupting her. He held up a finger. "No names! It's bad enough that you're trying to use mine. It's one of the first rules of being a vigilante. You don't reveal anything personal! What if someone was listening?"

Flamebird glanced around. "There's no one here."

"But there could be," Robin said. Sometimes dealing with Flamebird was like dealing with a little kid. He serilsly wished that his real name had never been revealed to her. He wished had been given a choice. Two years ago, Batman had disastrously fallen in love with Batwoman. Batwoman who had turned out to be Bruce Wayne's second cousin Kathy Kane. Flamebird's real name was Elisabeth Kane. She was Bruce's second cousin one removed. She used to call herself Betty. She had changed to it to Bette because she thought it sounded more sophisticated.

"You should have stayed in San Francisco," Robin said. He moved back to edge of the roof. He fired the grappling gun and took off. Flamebird pulled out a grappling gun of her own and followed. This led to a roof top chase. Every time he thought he lost her, he would pause only to find that she was right behind him.

Standing on top of another building a few minutes later both Flamebird and Robin were breathing heavily. "You know," Flamebird said, "The way you're behaving, one would think that you were trying to avoid me."

"Gee," Robin said sarcastically, "What gave you the first clue?"

Flamebird looked hurt. "You can't mean it. You're know we're meant be together. That time we spent together in Kandor when you were calling yourself Nightwing. The story Superman told us of the second Nightwing and Flamebird on Krypton. Their story reminded me so much of us. Well except the tragic death part."

Robin snorted. He pulled out a small remote control from his utility belt. "Their story," he said, "is as much like us as apples are like bananas."

"They're both fruits," Flamebird pointed out.

"And you're a fruitcake!" Robin said, "I really don't want talk to you right now. Why don't you back to the Teen Titans West or to your aunt's house in L.A.? Go anywhere, just get away from me!"

The roof they were on was only three stories high. There was a sound of an engine coming from the streets. Robin mock saluted Flamebird. "That's my ride. See you later!" He fired the grappling gun into the roof. He swung from the roof to the ground below.

A fancy sporty red car pulled up in front of him. He hopped in car on the driver's side. He switched on a button turning the car from the computer's automatic control back to manual. This was the Red Bird. Of all the gifts Dick had received from his guardian during his birthday last month, this was one of his favorites. It was a sign that Batman was trusting him more Robin. He hadn't actually used it too much. He preferred to travel with Batman in the batmobile or swing from the rooftops on his own. Still, this car did come in handy during a tight spot or when he need to rest a little; this situation qualified as both.

Robin drove around Downtown Gotham. He had a police car listing for any trouble. He drove the car into one of the more dangerous areas of the city. He spotted someone familiar in an alleyway. The red hair was unmistakable. This was the second Batgirl. Her black and grey costume with the yellow accents was much subtle and striking than Flamebird's. It was the not costume or the name though that fascinated him. It was the girl, the woman behind the mask. He had liked her as Barbara Gordon even before he knew she was Batgirl.

Batgirl was busy tying up two unconscious thugs. Robin pulled the Redbird up close to the alley. As Batgirl left a note for the police, Robin rolled the passenger window of his car. He leaned sides twisting so that he was facing toward the window. "Hi gorgeous!" he said, "Need a lift?"

"Okay, short pants," Batgirl said, "but don't think this means anything. You're still-"

Robin held up a hand. He grinned. "I know, I know. You don't have to say it, I'm jailbait." Barbara was six years older than him. She was twenty-two. She was old enough to vote. She was old enough to drink or smoke if she wanted to. He unfortunately wasn't. Sometimes he wished that it was ten years later or they were that much older. If he was twenty six and she was thirty two the age gap wouldn't matter much.

As Batgirl opened the car door and sat down, a thought occurred to Robin. There were other ways to make the age gap matter less. The moment Batgirl pulled the car door shut, he said, "Marry me."

Batgirl immediately bust out laughing. "That's a good joke. You're only sixteen. You just a kid."

"No, I'm not," Robin said, "My mother was sixteen when she got married."

"Oh my gosh," Batgirl said startled, "You're not kidding. You're serious." Her face flashed her irritation. "That's it! I'm getting out!" As she put her hand on the car door, Robin took his foot off the brake. The car sped on down the road.

Robin took his eyes off the road for just one second. He grinned her. "You were right the first time," he said, "I was just kidding." But he wasn't. When he said it, he meant it.

Batgirl chuckled a little. "You really had me going for a moment."

"Why would I want to get married?" Robin said beginning a list of all the obvious reasons not to. "I'm young and underage. I'm not even out of high school yet. Outside of being a vigilante I haven't got a job yet. Being a vigilante literally doesn't pay. Not to mention that a certain Batman would probably hit the roof."

Batgirl giggled at that last statement. "You're right. Can you imagine the look on his face?"

Robin laughed too though he knew the reality of such a thing would not be so funny. Batman was scary when he was mad. Bruce was like a father or a big brother to Dick but he was not someone Dick wanted to cross.

In Dick's mind he thought of all the reasons he wanted to someday marry Barbara. She was smart. She was funny. She was beautiful. There very few people he liked being around as much as her. He could talk with her for hours without either of them getting bored. Last but not least, there was an undeniable attraction between them.

Robin turned the knobs on the radio. The Redbird was specially fitted with high tech yet compact equipment. There was a security system. There was the limited AI computer (limited only because Batman didn't trust thinking machines.)Then there was the radio with FM, AM, satellite, and police stations.

"**Calling all cars," **the voice on the radio said, **"Mr. Freeze has broken out of Arkham."** Robin turned the Redbird around driving toward the Arkham Asylum. The asylum was some distance across from Robin's location. Batman was apparently much closer. The radio chatter revealed in less than ten minutes that Batman had resolved the problem. Robin drove his car around the city for while, talking and joking with Batgirl.

When Robin stopped the car a few minutes later, he leaned toward Batgirl. She leaned toward him. They kissed then she pulled away. "We can't," she said.

"It's just kissing," Robin said.

Batgirl frowned. "You know full well that kissing can lead to more. You're too young. By time you're old enough that it doesn't matter, we'll probably both be seeing other people."

Robin sighed. He tilted his head down "I thought you were going to say that." They'd had conversations like this before. He wished that he was older. Wishing a thing did not make it so. Robin forced himself to smile. "There's still crime fighting! We can still do that together. Can't we?"

Batgirl smiled back. "Always." She opened the car door and stepped out.

A second later Robin did the same. He slammed the door hard. He pulled the remote out of his utility belt. He walked around to where Batgirl was standing. He pressed buttons on the remote. The car drove off on its own. Robin held up the remote grinning. "The Redbird and its remote control features are awesome!"

Batgirl shook her head. "Boys and their toys," she said.

Robin grinned even wider. "If you had a new car like mine you'd want to show it off too!"

"Oh, is that why you offered me a ride?" Batgirl asked.

"Could be," Robin said still smiling, "Could be."

Batgirl and Robin both whipped out their utility belts. they shot up to a near roof top. They went swinging across the roof tops. Robin showed off doing aerial stunts and flips. He unintentionally got ahead of her. When he hit a rooftop across from a museum he stood there waiting. He stared in surprise as he realized that someone was slowly climbing across, outside the museum windows. He was staring at the museum as Batgirl came to stand beside him.

"You usually carry binoculars," Robin said in an serious tone, "Hand them here."

"What?" Batgirl asked, "You don't have any? All that gear you carry too!" Her voice was teasing.

"Exactly," Robin said still serious, "There's only so much you can carry in a utility belt." Without turning he held out a hand. The binoculars were placed in his hand. He looked through them. "Drats! I was right. That's Catwoman down there." Robin watched as Catwoman moved near a corner of the museum building. She stepped lightly along a ledge. She climbed in through a window.

"Shouldn't we be calling Batman?" Batgirl asked.

"Why?" Robin said, "We can take her out, no problem."

Batgirl was skeptical. "I don't know. Her fighting skills are almost on Batman's level."

"There only one of her," Robin said, "There's two of us."

"If it was Batman you had to fight, would you be saying that?" Batgirl asked.

"No," Robin said smiling, "If it was Batman he'd be mind controlled. In that case I'd run all the way to China! That or I'd tranquilize him."

"Sure," Batgirl said with humor in her face and voice, "That running to China would only work if you were the Flash!"

"Or Kid Flash," Robin said, "Or his cousin Impulse, or Johnny Quick, or Superman."

"Oh you!" Batgirl shook her head but she was smiling as she did so.

Robin rattled on with a list, "…or Supergirl, or Max Mercury, or Power Girl, or Captain Marvel, or Joanie Quick."

"Some of those names I don't even know!" Batgirl said.

Robin shrugged. "What can I say? You haven't been in this business for even a year yet. I've been doing this for at least four. When you've been doing it that long you meet a few people."

"More like you read all Batman's files," Batgirl muttered.

"That too!" Robin said, "Now, let's go stop Catwoman!" Robin fired his grabbling gun. He swung across to the museum. He landed on the ledge and entered through the window he saw Catwoman use. He heard a heavy thud. That sound was too heavy. It was too ungraceful to be Batgirl. He turned his head. Through another nearby window Flamebird was entering the museum. Robin groaned. He walked a few steps further into the museum. In under a minute, Batgirl came in through the same window as he had.

"You!" Flamebird shouted far too loudly. In the dim light it was hard to tell but her gaze seemed to be focused on Batgirl. She moved closer to Batgirl and Robin. She looked upset.

"Be quiet!" Robin whispered, "Do you want to bring a security guard our way? Do you want to alert Catwoman?"

Flamebird didn't seem to be listening to him. She continued yelling. "What are you doing? You're with Robin! He's mine!" She moved toward Batgirl and started shoving at her. "That outfit. You're the Batgirl in the newspapers! You have no right to that name. Batgirl was my name!"

Batgirl shoved back pushing the other girl to the ground. Batgirl's widened. She shoved back pushing the other girl to the ground. "You're Flamebird! You're the first Batgirl, the one that was a joke!"

"You take that back!" Flamebird yelled as she stood back up. "You're the lousy one! You stole my name!"

"Your name?" Batgirl asked, "You haven't been using it for over two years! Most people don't even know who you are!"

"You-you- you witch!" Flamebird screeched. She raised a fist

"Ladies please!" Robin shouted jumping in between them. He stretched out his arms separating the two girls. "Both of you stop this! We've got a Catwoman to catch!"

Both heroines went quiet. Flamebird shot Batgirl glares of deadly intent. Peals of feminine laughter could be heard from further in the museum. Robin followed the sound of that voice. The foot steps behind him told him that Batgirl and Flamebird were following him.

Robin came upon a corridor filled with cat imagery. There were all of figurines designed to look like cats. There were paintings of cats. There was an antique wooden table with little cat pictures all carved out one piece of wood. There were four pillars made of cheap plaster, each in a different corner of the display area. The pillars were statues of playful cats, each taller than a man, made to look as if they were holding up the ceiling. Robin had heard of this display before. Bruce had spoken to Dick earlier in the week about just how gaudy and ridiculous the whole thing was. Bruce Wayne was one of this museum's greatest patrons but not even he had any real control over what the museum curator chose to display. Staring at everything Robin found himself agreeing with Bruce. It was as if some idiot was trying attract Catwoman. It should have been too silly to work. So why was Catwoman here standing in the middle of the room?

There was in the center of the room, a clear square display case with a very large piece of jade under the glass. The jade was larger than a grown man's fist. It was carved like a cat sitting upright with its tail curled around it. The center of its eyes were small genuine rubies Catwoman in a skintight purple cosutme was moving toward the jade. She was soon touching the glass. Catwoman's clawed gloves were creating a perfect circle around the glass. A hole was made. Catwoman reached in and grabbed the figurine. "Ah my pretty," she said, "Come to Mama!"

"Put that back, Catwoman!" Robin shouted.

Catwoman laughed, the same feminine laugh that he heard before. "You're quite the hot commodity. With two girls after you and all." She stepped toward him slowly her hips swaying. She was suddenly looking at him in a way that made him uncomfortable. "You are kind of handsome, kid. If you were a decade older even I might be interested."

"You can't have him!" Flamebird shouted, "He's mine. We're destined for each other!"

"You so are not!" Batgirl yelled.

"We are too! Don't think I don't what you're doing!" Flamebird said, "You'll never be Batgirl! Robin will never truly be yours! On some level he will always love me! We're soul mates!"

Robin put a hand over his eyes for a second. He barely suppressed the urge to groan. Catwoman grinned widely like she was watching the most amusing show. He could hear the girls moving behind him.

"It's not everyday," Catwoman said, "That a boy has two girls fighting over him."

"They're not," Robin said, a moan escaped his lips. Catwoman nodded cheerfully. Robin turned around just in time to see Batgirl slap Flamebird. Flamebird raised her right fist and hit Batgirl straight in the left eye. Batgirl took Flamebird's arm and swung the blond girl over her shoulder in a judo move. Flamebird jumped back to up her feet in a quick move that reminded Robin that Bette had had gymnastics training.

"Now this," Catwoman said, "is what I call an interesting show! If I only I had some popcorn everything would be purrrfect!"

"Shut up, Miss Kyle!" Robin said glaring back at Catwoman. He turned his eyes back on the two female viglantes. They were staring at each other, both waiting for the other the to make a move. Robin ran between them. "Flamebird I thought you wanted people to think you more mature! And Batgirl why you are acting like this? What happened to the woman I fell in love with?"

"That you love?" Flamebird cried out, "No!" The girls tried to get at each other with Robin between them. Their fists were raised at each other but it was Robin who got hit. He was sent backwards, landing at Catwoman's feet. His head hit the floor hard. The room seemed to be spinning.

Catwoman bent down. She continued to held the jade figurine with one hand. With the other she reached out and grabbed Robin's hand. She helped him up. "You walked right into that one, Boy wonder!" she said, "Or maybe I should be saying Boy Blunder! You sure blundered there!"

As the dizziness began to ease, Robin watched the catfight helplessly. The irony of Catwoman watching with him did not escape him.

Flamebird's hands went for Batgirl's throat. Batgirl tried to push her away. Both girls fell to the floor. They rolled around on the floor. They managed to separate just long enough to stand back up. Flamebird came at Batgirl again. They lost balance once more. This time as they fell hit a one of the cat shaped pillars. The cheap plaster crumbled and caved in. Robin was beginning to doubt that the pillars were purely plaster. There was a white dusty substance beginning to fly through the air. Batgirl was hit by the dust, then Flamebird. They were swiftly covered in white powder.

"No!" Catwoman said, "That tears it! It's one thing to watch them fight. That's kinda fun to look at. But for them to casually destroy a cat statue even a cheap one…I simply won't allow it. Such disrespect for cats can't be tolerated!" Catwoman moved forward with determination in her step and anger on her face. Robin grabbed her arm trying to stop her. Catwoman a.k.a Selina Kyle was not just a cat burglar. Though she never killed she'd had assassin level training. Not killing was not the same as not wounding or even maiming. Her usally easy going nature meant she wouldn't do it. Right now though she was mad. She was livid. There was no telling what she would do. Robin knew he had to stop her.

Robin was off balance. He was still sort of dizzy. Catwoman scratched his arm. Hissing in pain, he let go of her hand.

Catwoman put a hand on Robin's chest. Her clawed gloves scratched him, tearing a hole in his costume. She didn't even have to push hard. He fell backwards. He hit the floor hard, again.

The next thing Robin knew he was waking up a short while later. He sat up. There was someone giggling. No, it was two voices. It was two female voices. Robin looked around. He was still in the museum. He rolled his left glove down his wrist to check his digital watch. It was a little over hour ago that he had been in the car with Batgirl. It was just a guess but he didn't think he had been knocked out for more than five minutes.

The jade cat was back in its broken case. Catwoman was no where to be seen. Flamebird and Batgirl were missing too. Robin stared down at the white powder covering the floor. There was something odd about that powder. He couldn't figure it out. He couldn't think straight. His head was hurting slightly.

Robin heard the giggling again. He followed the sound into another corridor. There was an African theme to the display with tribal masks and artwork. Robin didn't pay any attention to it. He stared in disbelief. Flamebird and Batgirl were on the floor tightly bound up together, back to back. They were laughing. Flamebird saw Robin first. "Dick!" she shouted, "Good! Tell me, who you love more?" She was gazing at him adoringly. "It's me isn't it?" Batgirl smiled and said, "No, me! He asked me to marry him! I love you too, Dick!"

"I love him even more!" Flamebird said her voice still friendly.

Robin's jaw dropped. "Are you two feeling alright?" he asked.

"Never better!" Batgirl said.

"Isn't he the greatest?" Flamebird said.

Robin walked up to the girls. He kept staring at them. This had to be a dream. That or a nightmare. Robin pinched himself. "Oww!" Not a dream then. He looked at the rope. It wasn't rope. It was one of Catwoman's whips. There was a note pinned to it. Robin read it.

'_Dear Boy Blunder,_

_The curator and I had a deal. I steal the jade cat, he gets insurance money. We split it. The current curator and I have met before. He doesn't have the most respectable background. His record is clean. His family's isn't. That includes a nephew who peddles drugs. You've probably already guessed it, that white stuff was cocaine. As your dear Daddy Bats can tell you, I don't deal with people involved with drugs. So as much I want the jade, that deal is off. Be a good little bird and get that curator arrested. Would you please, for me?_

_Bye-bye for now,_

_Selina_

_Ps. I might have dislocated your current Batgirl's left shoulder. She's good in a fight. The older model, not so much!_

Batgirl and Flamebird were high? Robin let out a low moan. He scratched his head. He looked at the giggling girls, then the scratches on himself. He probably had a concussion. How in the world was he going to explain this to Batman?"

"Would you let free, please?" Batgirl asked, "I'll do anything!'

"Me too!" Flamebird said.

Only the first offer was even halfway tempting. Robin could feel his headache getting worse.

"Let us go! Let us go!" Batgirl said. She was flirting with him. She desired him. He could tell. The problem was. he didn't want her, not like this!

"No!" Robin shouted. It took all his will power and strength to walk away to summon the Redbird. There was a communicator that he left in the car. He needed it to get in touch with Batman. He shook his head. He was so doomed.

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**If you like the story please review. Positive feedback is like a payday to me!**

**Repost Corrections: As Gilmare pointed out in her review, I made a mistake with Joanie Quick. She is not however Jesse. I merely failed to explain her at the top of the page. She's an oc, a member of the Teen Titans West, the grand daughter of Joanie Swift, who also claims that Johnny Quick is her grandfather. Joanie Swift by the way, is a very minor character from the comics, who made only one or two appearances in the nineteen fifties, before Johnny tricked her out of her powers because she wasn't suitable for the job. Joanie Swift was the kind of gal who would jump at mouse while moving at super speed!**


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